"Been a while..."

Yeah.

So nothing much has been going on recently for me. Two of my frends have passed their driving tests, congrats to them! My weight has been hovering beween 10 and 10.5 stone so will be hitting the Atkins diet again this weeks.
Kids are going to Spain on holiday with the inlaws. This will give me time to get the house squared up before we have to move out and give me some time to myself, for a change.
Only things to look farward to at the moment is a few pub trips and a trip to Dundee to see my friend Siobhan who I have not seen in proper ages. Really looking forward to the break!
Steve was meant to be going to London that weekend to go to some con, but don't know if he is going or not now. I would prefer it if he did, at least that way he is getting to do something he enjoys while I am away.
Only other thing I have on this month is my wee cousins wedding. Hoping to be at target weight for that so I don't feel like a fat pig in my dress. Going to include more exercise whilst on the diet this time, hoping for a bit more waist definition as have not lost many inches even though my weightloss to date has been close to 2 stone. That and my thighs are still huge!

More updates during the week.

Going to that place again.

I am sinking again. Have spent all day lying on the sofa, occasionally crying for no reason, screaming at the kids for fighting and wreaking the place.
I don't want to go back on any pills, though I promised the doctor I would, if I got like this again. Don't want to do anything except sleep. I need to get myself picked up and shook down. I can't go on like this anymore. I am making things difficult for everyone around me. My moods are effecting the kid, I think this is one of the reasons why the misbehave so badly just now. I can't afford to take anymore time off work, it is probably for the best, I think it would make me worse if I was just kicking about the house.
I need to isolate what is causing the problem or aggravating it and remove it. It is the only way now, I will just get worse and worse until I do something stupid. It needs to be dealt with, now.

I can't live like this anymore. This is not living.

President, Conference, Comrades,

Unfortunately suffering from post conference blues. Kind of like the downer you get after coming home from a nice holiday. Meh.
Anyhoo, had a fab time down in Brighton. I got to move a motion at Group (my first time!) after getting it top of the agenda of the guillotined section. The section before my motions section over ran, so mine never got heard when it should have. Due to my amazing powers of persuation (and my talent for convincing the SOC that my motion was far more important than any others which didn't get heard because of the guillotine falling!) I finally got to move the motion (insert poop joke here). It was carried unanamously. Dead proud of myself, and boy, what an adrenaline rush!
Went to several Socials during the week including the Left Unity Social, the GWAC Social, The Scottish Social and the National Conference Social. I managed (god knows how) to win second prize at the GWAC talent show by singing an acapela version of Bohemian Rapsody (with air guitar and piano and some head bangging!) with one of the GEC peeps! You really needed to have been there :)
Got to hang out with my friend Hamish from Dundee, has been ages since I saw him last so it was really nice. We had a superb time at the Scottish night, lots of rowdy sing songs of old TU stuff, The Fields of Athenry, Avanti Popolo, Jarama Vally and various other great songs. The only down side was the hotel was charging £9.50 for two pints of beer, yes, just two pints!
National was good too. Mark Serwotka did some very good speaches on behalf of the NEC as well as a rousing speach of his own. Sir John O'Donnal was highly entertaining yet again, slagging off the MPs and their expenses claim. Floating duck? I still have not got a clue!

Anyway, feeling a bit sad and lonely tonight. Post conference blues, kids acting up, mum bitching, Steve being in London and general unsettledness in myself. My life feels wrong. Not sure how to sort it out since I don't know what is wrong with it or in it, or perhaps, missing from it. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist next Thursday, so I might figure it out then. Not much point dwelling on it just now anyway.

Actually lost weight at conference. Down to 10st 2lbs. Nearly there, going to try really hard to get the last 10-12lbs off. I figure I can do it in 4 weeks if I can behave myself with carbs.

Anyhoo, Kat Fletcher, Battlestar East Kilbride signing off.

It's the final countdown!

So, just a matter of hours to go before I embark on my journey to Brighton.
I have done quite a fair bit today and by the time I get to bed all preparations for the following week will be complete.
I have changed all my money for English notes, don't want to risk getting money turned away when I get there, ensured I have all the toiletries etc that I will need, cooked and preparing to freeze meals for the family (just so they don't starve), packed my case (though will need to unpack and re think as I have too much stuff...) and dyed my hair. All of my travel documents are sorted and in my bag. My conference paperwork and Group expenses have still not appeared. No doubt they will show up tomorrow, after I have arrived in Brighton, when they are no use to me. I have been reassured that this is easily sorted on Sunday night when we go to see the SOC.
Frankie is picking me up at 8am outside my house, fingers crossed he will not have too much trouble finding the place!
Just remembered I will need to pack my phone charger. Good job I remembered!

Ok. I am away to have a nice relaxing bath by candle light (all the bulbs have gone in the bathroom!) before I attempt to reorganise my suitcase.

Adios peeps and I will update on my return!

Not long now.

Nearly conference time! Got a call from the folk at Brighton flats. We are all go with the paying in cash when we get there, thats another weight off my mind. I called PCS finance to find out what had happened to my Group Conference expenses. They were sent on Monday, so should be with me tomorrow. Since there is absolutely no chance of the cheque clearing before I get to Conference, Steve has kindly offered to give me the money now, so I can just give him it back when the cheque finally does clear. Yet another thing sorted!
All I need to do now is get through the mandate meeting tomorrow, dye my hair (I have so much grey I am starting to look like a badger...) and pack my case. My travel documents are all together and safe and the money situation fixed. What would also be nice is a lottery win and for me to lose a stone in weight over night, without amputation.

More updates later.

No change in weight, BTW.

Oops!

Ok. Time to update.
Just got my hand slapped for not doing it often enough ;P

Not a lot been happening. Run off my feet last week with trying single handedly to organise our annual mandate meeting. It ended up being cancelled because it was too much for me to do alone, that and a few other things. Rescheduled for next Thursday, all prep has been finished now so fingers crossed it will all run smoothly on the day.
I head off to Brighton for conference on Saturday. I think I have everything I need for that, except my expenses...
Long story short, I have not received my Group expenses yet (hopefully will appear in tomorrows post) and my National expenses, though they did arrive, were made out to Steve. He has put the cheque in his bank and will give me the money when it cashes. I will phone PCS when the cheque cashes and tell them about their error. No point doing it now in case they cancel the cheque, then I would be royally screwed...

Not been very strick with myself in respect to my diet, so still hovering between 10st 5lbs and 10st 7lbs. Will get back on it tomorrow and hopefully lose a few lbs before I go on Saturday.

Anyway, thats me for now. Will do a quick update on Friday night as I won't have access to a computer next week and will update when I get back from conference.

Nowt.

As you can tell from my title, not alot has been going on since my last post. Well, nothing until 2 weeks ago.
Was at my sister in laws wedding on the 9th of April. It was down at the Seamill Hydro, near Largs.
It was ok. Food was ok. Band was quite good, though not many people we up for dancing it seemed. I fit into my dress and didn't need to wear my Bridget Jones 'special' pants to get into it, so I was well happy!

Sadder news, Steves' uncle Fred passed away last week. He had been not well for a while with a liver complaint but was taken into hospital with a peforated bowel the week before Julies' (Steves' sister) wedding. They couldn't operate because he was so full of infection (peritonitis) after a week long cock up with his blood test results. Anyhoo, Fred underwent an emergency operation and had been in ICU under heavy sedation after the operation. Steve and I had gone up to see him on Monday 13th. Probably not the best time for Steve to have seen him as they were bringing Fred out of the heavy sedation, not good for family members to see what with the confusion and disorientation. Fred was not aware we were there because he was still proper drugged up. Fred had been brought out of the sedation successfully and had been sitting up talking to Steves' dad and the next day he passed. I get the feeling he just needed to see folk before he went, he went knowing everyone had been to see him so I am glad. I think Steve is glad he went to see him too, though it was not an enjoyable experiance. I was proud of the way Steve handled it though. He talked to Fred and when we were leaving, held his hand to let him know we were there.
Steves' sister doesn't know yet. She comes back from her honeymoon on Wednesday night. Her dad is picking her up so he can tell her personally.
Freds funeral is on Thursday afternoon, another trip to The Lynn. I hate that place.


Aside from all that, nothing much is happening. Going to start the Atkins Diet again tomorrow (once last nights pizza is finished!) so I can lose the remaining stone/ stone and a half to reach my target weight (between 9st and 9st 7lbs) hopefully before conference. I will try and remember to update regularly on my weight loss.

Oh, Just to say, I got down to 10st 4lbs (see last post) and have not gained any back (give or take a few pounds of water every few days. It falls straight back off again though!) even though I have been eating a normal diet. Carbs and all! Yay!

Gah!

Yeah, I know. It has been ages.
Since my last post I have had my email address stolen, fallen out with my mum for a full week then made friends with her again, meet the very handsome Terrance Zdunich and the lovely Darren Lynn Bousman and his fiancee Laura Bosserman. I have also lost more weight and I am now loaded with the cold.

Anyway, that is all I can be arsed writing for now.


10st 4lbs

BMI 25.5

I am going to be skinny before I know it!

Just want to be all smug and proud of myself, I have lost another pound!

10st 9lbs

BMI 26.4

Fat and protein, the best of all the diets!

I know that it has only been 3 days, but that is me dropped another 2lbs! So very happy right now. My mood has lifted and I physically feel a lot better. Will probably start exercising more now that I don't have the fear of knackering my knees with the extra weight, that will probably help more with losing weight.


10st 10lbs

BMI 26.6

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman...

Yeah, it has been ages since my last post. I have been quite busy, getting settled back into work at Centre One and the such. Kids still mental, Steve still Steve, house still a mess. Well, it has been tidy on occation, just more stuff keeps arriving in the house and ends up sitting around when folk don't come to pick it up when they are meant to. Hey ho, I am getting to the stage where I am giving up on keeping it tidy at all.

Anyhoo, good news, I am under 11stone now! On a high fat, high protein diet I have managed to shed 9lbs in 2 weeks! In all honesty, I have not been sticking to the diet ridgedly, I have been eating more than my daily allowance of carbs on numerous days... I am going to try and stick to it properly for the next two weeks to try and lose as much of the excess weight as possible, then start reintroducing carbs in higher levels to my diet again. I long for a huge bowl of mashed potato...
Not long now!

I hasten to add that the diet I am on has absolutely nothing to do with the Dieticians advice. She told me to eat more carbs than I was and I gained 4lbs in 3 days, and that was me eating only 1500 calories a day as she advised...
It was actually my Psychiatrist who suggested the High fat, high protein diet, and for this, I thank him!

BMI : 26.9

I have what today..?

So, got to work this morning. Quite happy doing my registrations when my mobile tells me i have a message. 'Who would be texting me at this time in the morning?' I ask myself. It is 9.10am, most folk are at work so would be emailing me if they wanted a chat... Fecking reminder to tell me my Dietician appointment is today, in 20 mins, not tomorrow as I had thought. I had managed to somehow convince myself that Friday was the 29th of January. Anyhoo, don't panic folks, I made it on time. Dietician took my height and weight and worked out my BMI, suffice to say I was not impressed, infact I would go as far as to say horrified. These things don't sound so bad when you say them yourself, when a medical professional says it, it actually hits home. Anyway, she gave me a diet sheet to fill out so next time she can get a proper idea of what I eat in a typical week. I gave her a basic run down of what I eat every day and all she could say is that I might not be getting enough carbs. I am to start eating more bread, tatters, rice and pasta. If she can't see a way to change my diet to help me lose weight, she wants to put me on xenical. Not ideal, I don't want to poop orange oil by accident everytime I move. Apparently if I don't eat anymore that 3g of fat a day, the oil thing won't happen. I will wait and see what happens. I might suddenly wake up one day 9st again, miracles can happen...



BMI : 28.5

Monday, Monday!

Today I got an email to tell me which area I would be working in when I transfer across the road. Customer Service. Not impressed, especially since I will be on the same floor as my Aunt. I can see it now. I will take a days annual leave and the next thing I know, She will be on the phone to my mum telling her how I wasn't in work that day and how if I took sick leave I would get sacked, etc, etc...
The work itself I am not overly concerned about, LEAN, not bothered, can't be any worse than taking Taxes calls constantly all day every day. Trying to look at the bright side of things. My home life will be a hell of a lot easier, what with the proper flexi and being able to start work at half seven things will be a lot better.

Looking forward to my leaving/ triumphant return do on Friday. Still have not decided if I am going to take a half day or just have an early finish. Will need to decide tomorrow so I can get all my stuff ready for getting moved. That and I also have my dietician appointment on the friday morning, will need to remind my current manager in case he thinks I have done a runner in the morning...

Ok. Done for now. More later.

Whew!

It has been a wee while since my last update so I will bring you up to speed with recent events.

I have got my transfer to Centre One and start back there on the 2nd Feb. My leaving do is on the friday before.
It was my mums 60th birthday today and we went out for lunch, the proper celebration is happening on Saturday.
Finally got to see Repo The Genetic Opera, it is wicked! Well worth a watch if you have not had the chance yet!

I actually thought I had a lot more to write about, it seems not. :(

Anyhoo, will update some more later in the week. I have my Dietician appointment on Friday morning too.

Transfer

Got word today that I am being moved to the EHL (employers helpline) on Monday. Nothing like HMRC to give you plenty of notice...
Anyhoo, it is a start. Still no word on my move to Centre One, but the job journal had 4 AO posts advertised for down there so I have put in an application. It sounds really daft, given I hate my job, but I am really going to miss my team. They are a nice bunch and a good laugh, but hey ho, what would I rather have? A nice team or a job that doesn't make me ill? Hmmmm, difficult choice.

Well, we shall see what happens anyway.

More updates when they come.

Diets

So I've got an appointment with the Dietitian on the 29th of January. Not exactly sure if I am looking forward to it or not. Kind of scared that she will try and put me on a diet that I won't be able to stick to and I will get a bollocking for not trying to help myself. I thought I would be quite happy about getting to see a dietitian, finally some help for my weight issue.

Well, nothing I can do now except go along and see how things go.

Back to work

Yup. First day back at work today. To be fair, it wasn't all that bad. The majority of calls were folk asking about the 11CTC form, most of which had already received the CTC benifit when it came out in 02/03. Had a guy on the phone for half and hour just before home time. He was insistant that WE had got his P11d details wrong back in 05/06 and as such had not paid his liability. I had to point out that it was actually his employer who gave us information on the P11d, not the other way around. And why had he not disputed it back then? "When my employer gave me the P11d, I figured it must be ok and put the amounts from it on my SA return." So why has it taken him two years to realise that the figures might be incorrect and why was he convinced that it was us who got it wrong, not him or his employer, you may ask? Fuck knows!
Like I said, not a bad day, just a few frustrating customers (yes, we call the tax payers customers at HMRC).

Woo Hoo!

Just back from visiting my mum. Got to weigh myself and I am down to 11 stone 5 lbs! that is 10lbs lost since the start of November. I would like to be losing weight a bit quicker but I can't complain, at least I am finally getting my weight down. Another 4lbs and that will be a whole stone!
Only another 40lbs to go! Ooft, nearly 3 stone to go, didn't realise it was quite as much...

Over and done with for another year.

That is it official now. Xmas and New Year are done, I have taken the xmas tree and decorations down now. It is almost a relief to get things back to normal but also a bit depressing since that is me starting all over again. 2009 has begun. Hopefully it is going to be better than 2008 as far as work and money and life in general are concerned. I start back at work tomorrow. I am hoping I will have a nice little email from Bernadette stating that she has put through my transfer request as a reasonable adjustment through DDA, then I can get on with some corporate arse kicking and finally get my move back to Centre One. The email is all I need and I can have my transfer sorted by the end of the week. It is definately right when they say Union Reps have more knowledge on company policy than the management have. Ok, to be fair, I did come across the relevant literature by pure chance because I was looking for it, but then again, the management dealing with my case surely should have been trawling through the guidance also. Just goes to show how "supportive" they are being towards me and my case. I am hoping, when I pull this out of the bag, I will be able to get a big gang of my sick absence discounted due to their incompetancy with the whole thing. I can't quite remember when my transfer request was put in, but it has been quite a while. BTW, the guidance I found states that as soon as my request was put through, because of the circumstances, I should have been moved immediately. Julie found the guidance when she was at work, I bookmarked the link and also sent the link to George, so there is no way they can claim it was not there.

Like I say, all this is counting on the fact that Bernadette will have put in writing that this is the reason why she put me through for a transfer...
Though the longer she leaves it, the harder the arse kicking will be.

Fingers crossed.

Body types.

Ok. I have just discovered that my body type is that of an Ectomorph, one who is very skinny and finds it difficult to gain weight. Now, I have looked online for various diets to get back to the way I was until a year ago but it seems that no one has ever heard of an Ectomorph who had a weight gain and now can't get shot of it. All the diets are showing how to gain weight. Maybe i am being retarded in some way and missing something, but the thing said what were you like as a teen and early twentys to discover what body type you are. I could not gain weight for love nor money up until I was 7 months pregnant with Morgan then after I had her I had major issues getting rid of the baby weight. I finally got shot of it and then got pregnant with Lee. I actually lost weight while pregnant with him and ended up weighing less a week after I had given birth than I had weighed before I got pregnant with him! My really weight problem started when I gained nearly 3 stone in 1.5 months when the Doctor put me on an anti psychotic medication around about May 2008. Ever since then I have really been struggling. Short of lipo and a tummy tuck, I don't know what I can do to make me normal again!


Ok, rant over.

Interwebz

I hate the internet. It has made me spend my hard earned cash. I am now the proud owner of a Play.com account as well as a few clothing internet shop accounts. I have decided i am turning Goth again. The clothes are alot more flattering to my current shape and size so hopefully I will start to dress in a more flattering way. The Kevin Smith method of layering so it looks like you are just wearing a lot of clothes rather than being a fat bastard has not really worked out so well for me, so fingers crossed for my new look. Unfortunately, thinking about it, the last time I wore clothes like this I was a size 6-8 so I will probably spend all my time being miserable as my choice of clothing suited me so much more when hanging off a waif like figure, rather than the Butterball I have become...
Cest la vi.

Ok, it has been a while. Again, I made myself promises that I would update the blog regular, but I have not kept it...

So, it is now the 2nd of January 2009. Hogmanay was nice but quiet. We had my friend from school, Lorna over as well as Gordon (the usual suspect) Henderson. Everyone else who had been invited had other plans or had reasons why they couldn't come over, but it matters not, we had a good laugh anyway!

Xmas was nice. The kids didn't get up until 9am, so we all got a good sleep. Steve and I had been up until 3am helping Santa put the kids presents under the tree, so we appreciated the lie in!
I got lots of nice stuff including £150 from my mum. She had been saving up all year to give me it because she knew it would be the last year where she could afford it, Bless! I till haven't really spent any of my xmas money, nothing has taken my fancy. I would like to get a bottle of that Ghost perfume, but I need to go out and sniff them as there are about 3 different types and only one I like and I can't remember the name...

Oh and I was really ill for 4 days before xmas with that dreadful flu virus thing. My sinuses are still all blocked and I think may be infected. I will get around to going to the doctors at some point.