So ill...

I was fine until 2am this morning. woke up with severe pain in my stomach, ran to loo and promptly started vomiting and pooping uncontrollably.

It is now 5.25pm, and I have stopped vomiting (there is nothing left) but going through the motions yet my bowel keeps finding more... I am now vomiting and pooping nothing but bile.

I have vomed bile before, not pleasant, but I have never been so ill My body has continued to evacuate both ends when there is nothing left.

I don't think I have ever felt this alone either.

Lying in my bed in excruciating pain with no one to help me. Throwing up and having no one to comfort me.

It is not good but something I will have to get used to.

My joints hurt so much, mainly my hips and knees, so I am thinking this is a viral infection of some sort. If things don't get any better I will need to phone NHS 24 and see if I can get an anti spasmodic and some pain killers for my joints. I tried to take some paracetamol earlier, couldn't keep it down though. Probably not the best on an empty stomach anyway...

I will update when I either recover or get some treatment, I just hope one of the two happens soon as I feel like I am dying.

Grrrrrr, pissed off!

Fed up with folk and their double standards.

Is it reasonable to think that if your ex wants to go out on the pull and fancies his chances at taking someone home with him, he should say that's the reason he doesn't want to take the kids over night, or, is it more acceptable to make some lame excuse about how he doesn't know if he can take the kids because he doesn't know what everyone else wants to do?

I have no problem with the going out on the pull side of things, just after having numerous arguments about lies, I would have expected a certain degree of honesty. Also, for selfish reasons, because of Collectormania, I don't get a weekend. Sunday night doesn't count since I can't go out anyway due to working on Monday morning. So, two days and a night of doing something you enjoy while I get heehaw. There isn't even the excuse of him having had the kids all weekend at any point either. He has always got the Friday night out and only had the kids one Saturday night when he had airsoft the next day, and he dropped the kids off at half 8 in the morning. He had been out on theFriday night and didn't have the kids till 5 the next evening. Suffice as to say I will remember this the next time a favour is needed.

Rant over. For now.

Keecking myself.

Right, I know I was going to keep it secret but I know hardly anyone reads my blog.

My driving test is on the 18th June.

3 more normal driving lessons to go, but am going to see if my driving instructor can fit me in for an extra lesson the day before so I can really get my reverse park into a bay top notch.
I am also going to see if my mum can take me to a car park for extra practice at it. It is the one part I am really worried about. I am a reasonably confident driver and I know my highway code but it is the one thing I have never really been expected to do. Fingers crossed I will be able to develope a technique, the same as I did for the reverse parallel park, then I should have no problem. I just really need to practice it as much as I possibly can.

The test is booked for 14.30 on a Friday afternoon, so hopefully this will go in my favour.

Fingers crossed this time!

Alllll By mahhhh

seeeeellllllllffffff!

Yes. Night One in Kat's house.

Kat has put kids to bed and is now sitting watching Sparticus: Blood and Sand. Debating whether or not to open a bottle of wine.
Have got house gutted, bar a few minor areas that won't take long to do, so bored now.
Tomorrow is last day of Steroid action but have managed to lose another few lbs and am now just above 10st. hopefully I can maintain this level of energy and finally get rid of the last 10lbs I have been lugging about with me.

I am having a bit of a strange mood just now. I like my own company and having some peace and quiet, but all I can think of right now is how I would like someone to come over and chat to me. It is very odd. Particularly as if someone did pop over, I would probably be counting the minutes till they left again!

Ah well, just me being a pain again!

I'm going slightly mad...

Yup, I think I have cracked. I have manage to gut most of my house in 3 hours. Living room, kitchen, bathroom, upstairs and downstairs halls, stairs, cat stuff and one of the kids rooms. steve has Boltie, Clay and Stu round just now to prep for going to London tomorrow, so I can't really do anything else at the moment. Did I mention I have also done 2 washes and the dishwasher?
I can make a start on my bedroom once the guys are downstairs packing and the kids have finally gone to bed. Just really got clothes to put away and dirty washing to get done and change my bed clothes. I have a lovely new duvet cover set, I will put it on tomorrow so I can treat myself and have a nice hot bath and get into a nice fresh bed! Ah, the simple things in life!
Hopefully the weather will be good tomorrow so I can get most of the washing dried and put away, either that or I will kill myself with dehydration cause I will have the heating on full blast to get it done. I will get Morgan's room done first thing, after I drop Lee off at nursery. I am hoping the metabolism boost from the steroids will last another few days as I could do with losing another few pounds of weight. That has been 4lbs in 2 days so far, down to 10st 3lbs, want to be 9st 5lbs. 10lbs to go.

I shall update again soon!


Whhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!11111111111!!!!!!11!!111!

Lonely, oh so lonely...

Yeah. Steve is away tomorrow morning to London.
I have the day off to look after Morgan so after dropping Lee at nursery, I will spend the day gutting the house.
Hopefully shouldn't take too long, I will be glad when it is done. Lee has a birthday party to go to on Saturday afternoon, so will take morgan up to the Play Barn as well to get her energy out. oying with the idea of asking my mum to take the kids overnight on Saturday so I can attempt to meet up with some folk and get a night out.
I will see what the money situation is like and make a decision on that.

Still moving forward with my Dyslexia case, will hopefully get it sorted by the end of next week.

Nothing else been happening since yesterday except I am still manic. Have lost 4lbs in 2 days, which is nice, I must think about going on steroids more often...

Fire up the Quattro!

After being completely floored by the chest infection yesterday, steroids have kicked in and I feel high as a kite today! I mean really, I couldn't be more hyper if I had tooted 16 grams of cocaine in the one go, seriously.

I seem to be making head way in my research on getting HMRC to be held responsible for paying for Dyslexia Assessments for it's staff members. £450 ish is a hell of a lot of money for someone to stump up just to prove to their employer that they have a disability so that the employer recognise that they have to make reasonable adjustments, sometimes saving the individuals jobs. Anyhoo, I had to contact various different associations and businesses to ensure I had proof that the Assessments could not be done for free under any government scheme or that there was no financil assisance available to those who required to undertake the assessment. So far so good.

It is now a situation where I have to take the case to HMRC stating that by not providing any assistance financially to the member, and the member subsiquently discovers that they do indeed have a problem covered by DDA (not neccessarily dyslexia, the test is very thorough), then HMRC are discriminating against the person under the grounds of DDA as the did not comply with reasonable adjust ment and it was they who required the test results.


Anyhoo, it made sense when I wrote it, don't think it will read as well, but it is ok, I know what I mean.

Right got to go, going to make use of this manic phase and try and get my house gutted and cleaned.

Meh.

Had various episodes of ill health which has put my Roller Derby on hold for now. Mostly chest infections and a bout of tendonitis in my wrist triggered by a fall.
Started taking driving lessons again and passed my Theory Test on the 13th May, so far so good. My instructor has said I am ready to book my test, so long as I have at least 4 more lessons between now and the test date in order to perfect a few bits and pieces, inluding reverse parking into a parking bay. That is a lot harder than you would think, especially when there are no cars beside you to give you and idea where the space actually is.

Anyhoo, looking forward to it and fingers crossed I will pass this time around.

Saw my Psychologist again on Monday. He thinks I have the Rapid Cycle type of Bi Polar. I have been prescribed Zopiclone for my manic phases and he has suggested I have a long hard think about going on to Lithium to balance me out long term. I am not sure what to do about it.
I was in a Manic Phase until this morning when I was floored by a really bad chest infection. I now have to take 8 steroids a day for 5 days and 3 antibiotics a day for 7 days. I swear I rattle when I walk.

I know, it is all very boring in my life right now. I feel I should be doing something else, be someone else, but I don't know what or who.

A bit mixed up right now but trying to muddle through.

If anything happens, I will be sure to let you know. Again, I will promise to try and update a little more often.

Also, Steve is away to London this weekend. If you are free, give me a shout and we can hang out for a bit, yeah?

Pooooooopppppp!

Yeah, that is pretty much all I have been doing since Friday morning.

Morgan was off school because of it, I went to work thinking I was OK but had to be brought home by my manager at about 10am as I was progressively getting worse.

Fine now but, much to my dismay, I have missed my first live bout at Roller Derby. I was so looking forward to watching it, totally gutted. Steve took Morgan along anyway and Lee kept me company.

Sounds like I missed myself but thankfully Marri filled me in with all the gossip! 'Nough said about that for now as we are keeping schtum on what was said.

Aside from that, nothing to report back the now, just going to post random stuff if I can't think of anything decent as I am determined to keep this blog up to date.

Next week :

AGM on Tuesday
Roller Derby on Wednesday
Fear Factory gig on Thursday


I am pretty sure that is all that is happening of any interest. I shall report back on events at the end of the week.

Ta ta for now.


P.S.


Happy Valentines Day x

Zzzzzzz......

I am not just tired, I am completely fooked!
I have not really stopped or had a full nights sleep since Saturday night, just been worried about doing my Roller Derby exam and have had a lot, I mean a lot, of Union stuff to do.

Good news is that I passed the Roller Derby exam and get to graduate to the Wednesday night training with the actual team. Marri was also successful, so all is good!

Still got a floor meeting to do pre AGM, but that will be over and done with by tomorrow lunchtime. I have on going personal cases, but those have just been dealt with and will hopefully be quiet for a wee while, waiting for Capita reports etc.

Also got a huge spot on my chin in time for the floor meeting... Why is it you always get a plook, even if your skin is normally clear, right before you need to speak in public? As if you are not already self conscious enough!

Anyhoo, things should ease off after tomorrow though I will still be really busy with stuff. Next week is my last Tuesday for Roller Derby, Next Saturday is going to be the first bout I will have been to (not competing, of course) so really looking forward to that!

Ta ta for now :)

Yeah, well, hrummph...

Yeah, it is 2010 and the last time I thought to Blog was July 2009. So much for me trying to write every week.

Not a lot really been happening. Kids are healthy, Steve is fine as am I. We have two new additions to the family, Egon and Ray our fuzzy wee (not so wee now) kittens!
I have started a new sport which I have fallen in love with! Roller Derby. It Rocks!
My written exam is on Tuesday the 2nd Feb and the practical is over 2 practices, the 2nd and the 9th Feb. Fingers crossed I will pass both and move on to Wednesday night practice!
I am under no doubt that I won't be updating my blog until the 2nd when I know if I have passed or failed the written exam.

Anyhoo, I am sure I have other stuff I should be doing right now so, bye for now!


Fingers crossed for Tuesday :)

"Been a while..."

Yeah.

So nothing much has been going on recently for me. Two of my frends have passed their driving tests, congrats to them! My weight has been hovering beween 10 and 10.5 stone so will be hitting the Atkins diet again this weeks.
Kids are going to Spain on holiday with the inlaws. This will give me time to get the house squared up before we have to move out and give me some time to myself, for a change.
Only things to look farward to at the moment is a few pub trips and a trip to Dundee to see my friend Siobhan who I have not seen in proper ages. Really looking forward to the break!
Steve was meant to be going to London that weekend to go to some con, but don't know if he is going or not now. I would prefer it if he did, at least that way he is getting to do something he enjoys while I am away.
Only other thing I have on this month is my wee cousins wedding. Hoping to be at target weight for that so I don't feel like a fat pig in my dress. Going to include more exercise whilst on the diet this time, hoping for a bit more waist definition as have not lost many inches even though my weightloss to date has been close to 2 stone. That and my thighs are still huge!

More updates during the week.

Going to that place again.

I am sinking again. Have spent all day lying on the sofa, occasionally crying for no reason, screaming at the kids for fighting and wreaking the place.
I don't want to go back on any pills, though I promised the doctor I would, if I got like this again. Don't want to do anything except sleep. I need to get myself picked up and shook down. I can't go on like this anymore. I am making things difficult for everyone around me. My moods are effecting the kid, I think this is one of the reasons why the misbehave so badly just now. I can't afford to take anymore time off work, it is probably for the best, I think it would make me worse if I was just kicking about the house.
I need to isolate what is causing the problem or aggravating it and remove it. It is the only way now, I will just get worse and worse until I do something stupid. It needs to be dealt with, now.

I can't live like this anymore. This is not living.

President, Conference, Comrades,

Unfortunately suffering from post conference blues. Kind of like the downer you get after coming home from a nice holiday. Meh.
Anyhoo, had a fab time down in Brighton. I got to move a motion at Group (my first time!) after getting it top of the agenda of the guillotined section. The section before my motions section over ran, so mine never got heard when it should have. Due to my amazing powers of persuation (and my talent for convincing the SOC that my motion was far more important than any others which didn't get heard because of the guillotine falling!) I finally got to move the motion (insert poop joke here). It was carried unanamously. Dead proud of myself, and boy, what an adrenaline rush!
Went to several Socials during the week including the Left Unity Social, the GWAC Social, The Scottish Social and the National Conference Social. I managed (god knows how) to win second prize at the GWAC talent show by singing an acapela version of Bohemian Rapsody (with air guitar and piano and some head bangging!) with one of the GEC peeps! You really needed to have been there :)
Got to hang out with my friend Hamish from Dundee, has been ages since I saw him last so it was really nice. We had a superb time at the Scottish night, lots of rowdy sing songs of old TU stuff, The Fields of Athenry, Avanti Popolo, Jarama Vally and various other great songs. The only down side was the hotel was charging £9.50 for two pints of beer, yes, just two pints!
National was good too. Mark Serwotka did some very good speaches on behalf of the NEC as well as a rousing speach of his own. Sir John O'Donnal was highly entertaining yet again, slagging off the MPs and their expenses claim. Floating duck? I still have not got a clue!

Anyway, feeling a bit sad and lonely tonight. Post conference blues, kids acting up, mum bitching, Steve being in London and general unsettledness in myself. My life feels wrong. Not sure how to sort it out since I don't know what is wrong with it or in it, or perhaps, missing from it. I have an appointment with the psychiatrist next Thursday, so I might figure it out then. Not much point dwelling on it just now anyway.

Actually lost weight at conference. Down to 10st 2lbs. Nearly there, going to try really hard to get the last 10-12lbs off. I figure I can do it in 4 weeks if I can behave myself with carbs.

Anyhoo, Kat Fletcher, Battlestar East Kilbride signing off.

It's the final countdown!

So, just a matter of hours to go before I embark on my journey to Brighton.
I have done quite a fair bit today and by the time I get to bed all preparations for the following week will be complete.
I have changed all my money for English notes, don't want to risk getting money turned away when I get there, ensured I have all the toiletries etc that I will need, cooked and preparing to freeze meals for the family (just so they don't starve), packed my case (though will need to unpack and re think as I have too much stuff...) and dyed my hair. All of my travel documents are sorted and in my bag. My conference paperwork and Group expenses have still not appeared. No doubt they will show up tomorrow, after I have arrived in Brighton, when they are no use to me. I have been reassured that this is easily sorted on Sunday night when we go to see the SOC.
Frankie is picking me up at 8am outside my house, fingers crossed he will not have too much trouble finding the place!
Just remembered I will need to pack my phone charger. Good job I remembered!

Ok. I am away to have a nice relaxing bath by candle light (all the bulbs have gone in the bathroom!) before I attempt to reorganise my suitcase.

Adios peeps and I will update on my return!

Not long now.

Nearly conference time! Got a call from the folk at Brighton flats. We are all go with the paying in cash when we get there, thats another weight off my mind. I called PCS finance to find out what had happened to my Group Conference expenses. They were sent on Monday, so should be with me tomorrow. Since there is absolutely no chance of the cheque clearing before I get to Conference, Steve has kindly offered to give me the money now, so I can just give him it back when the cheque finally does clear. Yet another thing sorted!
All I need to do now is get through the mandate meeting tomorrow, dye my hair (I have so much grey I am starting to look like a badger...) and pack my case. My travel documents are all together and safe and the money situation fixed. What would also be nice is a lottery win and for me to lose a stone in weight over night, without amputation.

More updates later.

No change in weight, BTW.

Oops!

Ok. Time to update.
Just got my hand slapped for not doing it often enough ;P

Not a lot been happening. Run off my feet last week with trying single handedly to organise our annual mandate meeting. It ended up being cancelled because it was too much for me to do alone, that and a few other things. Rescheduled for next Thursday, all prep has been finished now so fingers crossed it will all run smoothly on the day.
I head off to Brighton for conference on Saturday. I think I have everything I need for that, except my expenses...
Long story short, I have not received my Group expenses yet (hopefully will appear in tomorrows post) and my National expenses, though they did arrive, were made out to Steve. He has put the cheque in his bank and will give me the money when it cashes. I will phone PCS when the cheque cashes and tell them about their error. No point doing it now in case they cancel the cheque, then I would be royally screwed...

Not been very strick with myself in respect to my diet, so still hovering between 10st 5lbs and 10st 7lbs. Will get back on it tomorrow and hopefully lose a few lbs before I go on Saturday.

Anyway, thats me for now. Will do a quick update on Friday night as I won't have access to a computer next week and will update when I get back from conference.

Nowt.

As you can tell from my title, not alot has been going on since my last post. Well, nothing until 2 weeks ago.
Was at my sister in laws wedding on the 9th of April. It was down at the Seamill Hydro, near Largs.
It was ok. Food was ok. Band was quite good, though not many people we up for dancing it seemed. I fit into my dress and didn't need to wear my Bridget Jones 'special' pants to get into it, so I was well happy!

Sadder news, Steves' uncle Fred passed away last week. He had been not well for a while with a liver complaint but was taken into hospital with a peforated bowel the week before Julies' (Steves' sister) wedding. They couldn't operate because he was so full of infection (peritonitis) after a week long cock up with his blood test results. Anyhoo, Fred underwent an emergency operation and had been in ICU under heavy sedation after the operation. Steve and I had gone up to see him on Monday 13th. Probably not the best time for Steve to have seen him as they were bringing Fred out of the heavy sedation, not good for family members to see what with the confusion and disorientation. Fred was not aware we were there because he was still proper drugged up. Fred had been brought out of the sedation successfully and had been sitting up talking to Steves' dad and the next day he passed. I get the feeling he just needed to see folk before he went, he went knowing everyone had been to see him so I am glad. I think Steve is glad he went to see him too, though it was not an enjoyable experiance. I was proud of the way Steve handled it though. He talked to Fred and when we were leaving, held his hand to let him know we were there.
Steves' sister doesn't know yet. She comes back from her honeymoon on Wednesday night. Her dad is picking her up so he can tell her personally.
Freds funeral is on Thursday afternoon, another trip to The Lynn. I hate that place.


Aside from all that, nothing much is happening. Going to start the Atkins Diet again tomorrow (once last nights pizza is finished!) so I can lose the remaining stone/ stone and a half to reach my target weight (between 9st and 9st 7lbs) hopefully before conference. I will try and remember to update regularly on my weight loss.

Oh, Just to say, I got down to 10st 4lbs (see last post) and have not gained any back (give or take a few pounds of water every few days. It falls straight back off again though!) even though I have been eating a normal diet. Carbs and all! Yay!

Gah!

Yeah, I know. It has been ages.
Since my last post I have had my email address stolen, fallen out with my mum for a full week then made friends with her again, meet the very handsome Terrance Zdunich and the lovely Darren Lynn Bousman and his fiancee Laura Bosserman. I have also lost more weight and I am now loaded with the cold.

Anyway, that is all I can be arsed writing for now.


10st 4lbs

BMI 25.5

I am going to be skinny before I know it!

Just want to be all smug and proud of myself, I have lost another pound!

10st 9lbs

BMI 26.4